Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is Oprah even human
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
