i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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