Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
