The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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