they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
