Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
