they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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