I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
