im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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