woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
