I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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