State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
