we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
