okay pat passed out under dana's car
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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