Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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