508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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