fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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