Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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