You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize