Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
