Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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