remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
