FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
