Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
