butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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