she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
