I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
