White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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