Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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