Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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