So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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