So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
