So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
