The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My vagina just clenched in fear
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
