Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
