You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
