I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
