I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
