It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
