those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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