you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I cockslap morals
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
