I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
