She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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