i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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