I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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