so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
