i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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