...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
