Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize