You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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