i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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