Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
