Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize