i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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