they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
