So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
