I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
