she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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