I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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